how to have fun with alka-seltzer

By Uncle Wiggly 09-19-87
    The Asshole Next Door:

    1. During the night (or when they're not home) take 10 packs of the old Alka-seltzer and drop it down his hose, then fill the open end up with Glue (a caulking gun works best). Then wait till he tries to water his lawn and watch the hose explode in his face.
    2. Break up the Alka-seltzer and sprinkle it all over his lawn.
    3. Feed it to his dog. (It makes them Fart Bad!!!)
    4. Put it in his Gas Tank of his car. The more you put in the better.

    In the Supermarket:

    1. Hide one in a Tampon.
    2. Empty out a nose drop bottle. Then break the Seltzer up into dust size pieces, and put them in the bottle. Re-seal the bottle and put it back on the self.
    3. Put it in Tooth Paste.

    In School:

    1. Drop one in the Fish Tank in Biology.
    2. Shove some down the drain holes in the Drinking fountain.
    3. Place one in a hamburger during lunch.
    4. Drop it in somebody's project in Chemistry. (You get some strange effects with this one!)

    At the park:

    1. Feed alka-seltzer to a seagull and watch them explode.
    2. Give it to little children and tell them it's candy.

    Well, thats all I can think of right now. Mabey if I get bored again I'll add some more to it. But Probly not. Its not worth it!
    A Boredom Text File By Uncle Wiggly

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