1. Real Name (or at least family name)
2. Address
3. Phone #

As The Rocker said in an earlier file, the loze will often post his home fone when he wants to trade wares. If he doesn't, leave him E-Mail saying you have the wares he wants, and to please leave you his #. As a last resort, if you know the SysOp reasonably well, ask him for the number of the loze (all lozes use their real numbers when logging onto a system, remember?)

Once you have the number, do a CNA on it. This will get you the name of the person who pays the phone bill at the house (Although the A in CNA stands for Address, they don't do that any more). So call the "Customer Service" number of your local BOC and say, "This is at xxx-xxxx (lozes fone number). I didn't get my last bill. I think it might have been sent to my partner's residence. Could you tell me the address you have?" - copy it down as she says it. If you miss it, just say "hold on, I think I recognize it. Let me get a piece of paper..." she'll wait, then read it to you again...voila... you've got all the data you need.

(More customer service sabotage)

"Hello, this is at . I'd like to cancel service on my line." She'll ask you your address, which you have from the above step.

Card-free harrassment
=====================

Columbia House will be glad to sign them up for membership. He'll get 13 free albums for 1 cent. Make sure and select stuff like "Niel Sedaka's Greatest Hits", "Tommy Dorsey Live", etc.

When you get your Publisher's Clearinghouse or similar thing, sign up for 4 magazines and change the address to the loze's address. Whenever you see a pullout card to subscribe to a magazine, for crying out loud pull it out and have them send him a subscription. Next time you're at Safeway, just go through all the "Knitting News" and LHJ magazines and pull out the cards. Don't send him Vogue, he'd probably get off on the pictures. Just send him as many mags as possible, and within 10 weeks he can open a newsstand.

What's especially good, are those "Marines" cards. Tell them he's 18 and just graduating from high school, and they'll call him as well.

Call your local KKK branch (or get an address from a KKK BBS) and order about 20 "KKK and proud" bumper stickers. Put on loze's car (or his parent's car).

Call when he's at school. When his mom asks who's calling, say "Mr. Krack-Man" or "Bioc Agent 003" or someone else famous. Or say "PacTel Security" and if she asks why, tell her: 'He's been making illegal phone calls'... this is a little drastic and not my style, though.

More things to say to mommy (or daddy) - "He threw a rock at my cat and we had to put the cat to sleep.."
"Ask him if he still wants that pot.."
"Suzy says that he got her in trouble.."

Of course, if his parents are understanding, he'll be able to convince them that it was a joke...eventually...

Next time you're on The Source, send him 100 mailgrams. They should each say something like "you're such an asshole I can't believe it" and be "from" someone they're friends with, like the SysOp of their favorite board. If they're not too intelligent, this might give them a nervous breakdown, though.

Put Call Waiting on his data line.

Take touch-tone off his line. He'll wonder why his calls aren't going through.

If he's a "wanna-be" phreak and asks you about hacking programs, be nice and write him one...one that, after hacking 30 or so numbers, starts calling London Recorded Time (011-441-246-8255), 911 (which has ANI), then COSMOS (which also has ANI)...this is called a Revenge Hacker and is not my idea. Again, it's a little drastic. Heh.

Have a few pizzas delivered to his house. While you're at it, also send some "escorts", Roto-Rooter men, Fire Engines, Cops. Preferably all on the same night... (Note: when sending police, just say something like "My house got burglarized last night", not something like "I think there's a robber in my bedroom". They might come with their rifles and tear gas, and remember, we just want to slightly annoy this person, not get him killed.)

If the person you want to annoy is a SysOp:

Cancel his service (see above).
Put call waiting on his line (also see above).
Put his address on his own board. That will `really' bother him...