Pranks, Revenge, and General Mayhem

PART SEVEN

By THE FIXER
Today's lesson: MORE KRAZY GLUE TRICKS!!!

Well, you couldn't get enough of those demonic Krazy Glue stunts of Pranks 1 and 3, and so here it is: Pranks 7, More Krazy Glue tricks! I trust you will find these every bit as useful and evil as the ones before them! Before I begin, though, a good idea is to memorize all my pranks files, and all the other anarchy files you may read, so that you know all of the tricks by heart and can plot a course of revenge for any situation. Arm yourself with Krazy Glue, sandpaper, an X-acto knife, and a banana, and you are ready to set up shop in your own little underground business. If someone wants someone fucked over, they come to you, tell you their problem, and you come up with a suitable course of action. Charge a certain amount for a given task, so, say, five bucks for a simple well-placed drop of Krazy Glue, twenty to completely Krazy Glue a car shut! You could make a fair bit of money just for knowing lots of ways to help your buddies by fucking up their enemies! Anyway, on with the Krazy Glue Tricks! - Ever resent that high-school teacher who always brings a cup of coffee to class, while you may not? Well, see how he enjoys his Sanka with the cup Krazy Glued to his desk!!! - Go into a drugstore and make those pill bottles REALLY child-proof by Krazy Gluing the lids on. - More on Dead Disk Drives: Remember the Krazy-Glued disk (can't rotate)? Or the sandpaper disk (ends heads)? Well, here's how you can combine the best features of those 2 tricks: Take a dead diskette. Place a few drops of Krazy Glue on the disk surface, allow to completely harden. Rotate the disk about 30 degrees or so until the hard drops are out of the way. Place more drops on the disk, let harden, rotate again. Continue until you have gone all the way arouund the disk. Now, rotate the disk so that no drops are visible. Now, someone expecting a sandpaper diskette will find nothing, and will merrily place this mystery diskette in the drive (remember to plant it next to a school or enemy computer, with a label saying "new wares-do not give out"), and the bumps on the disk will destroy the head. They say a grain of salt can destroy a head; can you imagine what many lumps 2mm high of one of the world's hardest plastics will do???????? - In your local library, do the following: Krazy Glue microfiche into fiche readers. Krazy Glue other microfiche into whatever sleeves or slots they rest in. Krazy Glue card catalog drawers SHUT. If there are Computer catalog terminals, Krazy Glue the brightness knobs to MINIMUM. Apply other terminal-related Krazy Glue Tricks, as well. Krazy Glue the photocopier's canopy down. Krazy Glue books to shelves. Krazy Glue pornographic pictures into the pages of children's books, religious books, and any books you HATE. - See how badly you can make a record skip with hardened Krazy Glue on its surface. - Similarly, see how efficient a CD is that way. - In winter, Krazy Glue the chains on an enemy's car to his tires. He won't notice until it's time to take them off!!! - In church: Krazy Glue the pulpit mike gain on MAX, so there is LOTS of feedback and the sermon is ruined! - Restaurants: Krazy Glue salt, pepper, and sugar shakers to the table. - Krazy Glue their lids on so they cannot be re-filled. - Plug up the holes in salt & pepper shakers with Krazy Glue. - Krazy Glue the waitress' tip onto the table. - Go into the can of a restaurant. If there is a rubber dispenser then jam it up good with Krazy Glue. - How to fry a printer motor: Krazy Glue the Print Head into any given position. Also fun to Krazy Glue the ribbon in place. And the paper feed. - Krazy Gluing cereal boxes and other supermarket items to the shelf is always fun, but taking an x-acto knife and cutting the bottoms out of these is even more so. - If you find a bank machine card and are too chicken to try and take money out of the guy's account, then at least put a drop or 2 of Krazy Glue onto the magnetic stripe before putting it in the bank's mail slot, so that (a) the machine can't read it, and (b) the machine's read head gets fried. - This brings me to another trick (non-Krazy Glue...). Remember the Sandpaper diskette? Attach a piece of sandpaper to a dead credit card, bank card, or other type of machine-read card. Then try inserting it in a bank machine. Naturally the machine can't read the card, and if you do this a few times, soon the machine won't be able to read anything!! - NEXT TIME YOUR DAD TRIES TO MAKE YOU MOW THE LAWN, wouldn't it be a shame if the lawnmower won't start? Krazy Gluing several strategic places can cause just such an occurrence... Try spark plug tips, the pull cable, the wheel axles, the blade axle, and many other neato spots! Well, I have gone over 200 (40-col) lines now, so it looks like that's another phile. Thanx to the Locksmith and Clone Master for being truly sick-minded people. PRANKS 8 is coming soon, but I got no idea what's gonna be on it. Probably not Krazy Glue tricks.

-- swift vengeance