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The Fixer presents...
PRANKS, REVENGE, AND GENERAL MAYHEM, VOL. 8
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This File: School Phun 4, aka "College Phun!!!!"
Thanxz to the Locksmith and other MegaDeath members for various ideas and
input.
Well, here it is, the First ever COLLEGE PHUN tutorial!
Here we discuss institutional hell-raising on a post-secondary level for those
who for whatever reason do not belong to a frat (the normal, respected source
of activities of this nature).
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- Let's start with "Computing Services". One of the neatest places you can piss
people off is in the terminal room of your local U. The Classic Krazy Glue in
the keyboards goes over well, and so does Krazy Gluing the Terminal
brightness knobs on minimum (which means OFF). Another neato is to remove
the "anti-glare" coating from monitor screens. If there is necessary terminal
documentation posted near terminals, remove them; it confuses the hell out of
moronic first year students.
Still more fun? Put a big slash in the big huge wide ribbon of that line
printer; it will wear out and break shortly, but while you are not around.
Go to the paper stack behind the printer and rubber-stamp whatever you want
on every sheet in the stack, like "the lab instructor is a known faggot" or
something to that effect. Better yet, steal a BOX of paper, and have this
sort of thing offset printed onto EVERY sheet in the 4000 in the box.
Ah, yes, back to the terminals. Have you ever noticed the "SETUP" key on
VT-100 and VT-220 terminals? You can have endless phun with these guys; make
the screen 132 columns so it looks really retarded, or make it
black-on-white text, or both. Enable a foreign character set, too. For REAL
laughs, change the baud rate of the terminal. Most terminals support MANY
different baud rates; from 50 up to 19200. Usually a terminal will be set by
university techs to 9600 baud; change it to 50 baud. Change ALL the terminals
to 50 baud; 1st year geeks especially will wonder why the computer is so damn
slow!!!
Alternatively, leave the "receive" speed at 9600 baud so the computer's
output looks normal enough, but set only the "transmit" speed to 50. The
terminal will not be able to keep up with good typists at this speed, and
will cause *MANY* dropped characters.
Another interesting thing to do to terminals is plug up the vent slots with
bubble gum, Krazy Glue, or whatever, and see how fast the terminal melts
itself from overheat.
Lastly, hacking user accounts is always fun. How to do this is another story
for another file, but WHAT to do when you get there is almost unlimited. Do
things like send pornographic email to all the female students (and faculty!)
or make "minor" changes to the docs that accompany student programs...like
have them say what a wank head the prof is or what a gay assignment that was
or whatever. Using up a whole lot of other people's computer time is also a
gas. Get online to some moron's account, and dial out to decent pirate boards
nationwide. Take a whole lot of files at 12 or even 2400 baud and print them
up on the hi-speed line printer. That's how to get a whole lot of files,
really quick and free.
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- The Library, ah yes, the Library, probably the favorite college prankster's
grounds. God, the things you can fuck up here...
Let's start with stacks of books. If you see a study carrel with a mess of
someone's belongings in it, place a library book in the middle of his/her/its
texts so he/she/it doesn't notice. If your library has electronic theft
detection (and what library doesn't?) then the sucker will get beeped at by
the alarm and get into a whole mess of trouble.
Rearranging the card catalog into a random order has always been a favorite,
and it still gets great results (Russian Poetry in the middle of all the
Nuclear Physics cards???)
Also, taking cards out, and re-typing them with phony info about its Dewey
number or Library of Congress number, is always fun. Replace the cards, of
course, but only the re-typed ones. Also, change the dates of old books to
this year; people will expect a nice new easy-to-read book and will get
beat-up falling-apart old heaps of shit. Or, you can "help" make new books
older very quickly...
Back to study carrels. Place water on these, so papers get wet and ink runs.
Or syrup, the stickiness will drive people NUTS. Take a knife and create
various trenches and pits in the surface of these, so that it is impossible
to draw a straight line against them.
HOW TO STEAL BOOKS:
OK, you know those damn electronic theft detectors I mentioned? Well, they
only have those at the door, so what you do is open a window, and throw
whatever books you want outside, with an accomplice out there to help catch
them so you don't fuck them up or leave a suspicious-looking pile of books
lying outside. It's best to do this after dark, for two reasons: (a) Because
at later hours there are fewer library attendants to catch you in the act,
and (b) so that your accomplice is not flagrantly obvious in broad daylight
as he catches books falling from the sky...
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-- swift vengeance
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